It turns out being still is harder than it sounds….
I know I’m not alone in struggling with this temporary, new way of life and many of us are finding it hard to stay motivated.
I started out with the best intentions, on my workdays, I was going to the effort of getting properly ready. Hair, make-up, shoes, the lot. That soon became scruffs, there’s been a couple of working in my pyjama days and my hair now resembles Side Show Bob’s – it’s big, it’s curly, it’s unmanageable.
My down days (where I’m not working) are hit and miss, again there’s a lot of pyjama living and a lot of eating.
Today I’ve mostly been a bad-tempered shit….
I hold my hands up I’ve been ratty; the smallest things have pissed me off. In short, I’ve done a great impression of my Goddaughter – she’s three. I just could not shake the feeling of irritability, not helped by the fact my body clock has decided to be an arsehole and wake up at 4:00am. I usually read the breakfast news bulletins, normally I struggle to drag myself out of bed at 4, not anymore it would seem.
The final straw came when I encountered my fiftieth tech problem of the day and screamed at my laptop (I never claimed to be rational). I needed to burn off some energy, beat the restlessness and clear my foul mood with government approved socially distanced walk.
It did just the trick, I have to say I have never felt luckier to have the countryside literally on my doorstep. Time in the fresh air cleared my head and lifted the fog. I’m actually doing alright in the grand scheme of things. I can walk without coming across another living soul, I’m still working, I’m healthy; I just have to stay at home and if I have problem with feeling like I’m wasting time or feeling restless then I should do something about it.
So now I’m attempting to hit the reset button, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about using this as an opportunity to rediscover some of the things I enjoy doing and to reflect a little, I reckon it’s about time I set myself some goals. Nothing huge, I’m not going to become fluent French over the next few weeks but there are things I can do to keep me busier and stop myself festering on the sofa eating Pringles….so this week I will:
- Sort out my bloody wardrobe. My room come office looks increasingly like a jumble sale – there’s clothes hanging from every available space on the picture rail – none of it is new I’m now four months shopping free.
- Complete the self writesolation tasks I signed up to do – I did attempt it last week…the less said about that the better.
- Get dressed every day before 10:00am – the pyjama and dressing gown lifestyle has to stop.
- Sort out the bird nest on my head – I’m not going to cut myself a fringe (tried that at 15 didn’t end well) but brushing it would be a good idea.
- Stop losing my shit with technology. Shouting expletives at a laptop doesn’t achieve anything, so it’s time to breathe, walk away and chill out.
Hardly ground-breaking but a start at least, maybe I’ll get more extravagant next week. The point is I’ve felt a bit lost without having a deadline and bulletin to get out every hour, I need to have things to aim for, while we all work through these pretty crazy times, I need to set my own deadlines and be less stroppy.
Journalist, writer, traveller, music lover, collector of hats, news addict, bookworm